So it seems that ever since I have proclaimed myself strong and working toward a better self-esteem, the forces of hell have tried even harder to stop me. This week I have to admit that I have still struggled with my little dips of feeling bad about myself.

I have been trying to combat it and remind myself what I learned and what that means to me. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Most effective for me is to coach myself. My favorite show is the Biggest Loser so I have taken my coaching from there.

I ask myself, "Why are you here?" Answer: "To gain eternal life."
"What can I do right now, today, this very moment to obtain that?" Answers vary, but most of the time they are things like turn off the TV and spend time with your kids, or the house being spotless is not as important as reading the scriptures, or don't yell just use a calm and effective way to teach your kids right from wrong.

The most important positive change that has occurred is that I now feel like I deserve to be happy. It might sound ridiculous, but in the past I have lived without things because I felt that I didn't deserve them, but now this light has gone on and it is like, I am a Priestess of course I deserve to have God love me.

With every goal that we have, lets use weight loss for example. We set the goal and we go along doing well for a day or two and then we are faced with a temptation (which craftily enough lands exactly at the same time that we are feeling bad about ourselves because of something else that has happened in our lives) so we fall into temptation. We eat like a cookie. Then we feel so bad about ourselves for choosing wrong and we tell ourselves that we have messed up and that all our previous work is now ruined! Some days, for me, I have a defeat us attitude and sit down give up on life for that day and eat another 10.

With every decision that we make there is a right and a wrong. "Should I read the scriptures this morning or watch TV? The battle over what you should do and what you want to do will be in your face every day as a mother. We don't have a boss telling us what we have to do and when, in order to make the right choices for our children. We have to pull that out of deep down inside of us. The will power to be strong and to do right for our children, but also for us.

Heavenly Father loves us even if we eat a whole box of cookies in a sitting, if we watch a whole season of Gilmore Girls in one day, and if we lose our temper. The truth is that we are not perfect. We are His children, we are all as much children as the kids that we are trying to raise. That is why we must give up the control and trust in God. Remember, we are all on a journey toward heaven. God loves each and every one of us for our potential. He sees us as queens in His kingdom. He wants us back just as much and more than we do.

That is why if we make mistakes we should look to Him and know that He loves us anyways. We should not give up hope when we make a mistake, we should rejoice because that is a moment when we can put our trust in God, turn to Jesus Christ, and obtain just a little more faith.

I love my Savior because He is always with me. I just have to open my spiritual eyes and see Him. My perspective needs to change for the better about mistakes. We weren't given life to be perfect, we were given life to learn through making mistakes.